Cat Scrubbin’

The first thing that comes to mind today is how one scrubs a cat.

 

It started off innocently enough. We were getting our art materials for the various courses that require them, and some of my friends are taking the ikebana (flower arrangement) class. Included with their starter pack is this piece of wood with a ton of nails on one side akin to a deadly brush, or flower arrangement base, whichever is cooler-sounding at the moment.

 

On Sunday, my okaasan introduced me to our neighbor across the street, a cute little obaasan. Before I go on, let me give a bit of a background for this story.

 

The obaasan owns a cat. At least, I think it's one. Every night, without fail, I go to sleep listening to the wails of a dying animal, most notably those of a cat. Putting two and two together doesn't require an Asian calculator. I'm guessing that it's a pretty old cat or something.

 

Back to the somewhat present. As I am being introduced to this obaasan, she's scrubbing her cat. Okay, so some people wash their pets in front of their house out in the open. The cat's lying on it side on a rag of some sort. As we talk, I see the obaasan scrubbing the cat as if it needed some polish. oO;

 

It wasn't *scrub scrub scrub.*

 

It was *Skshh skshh skshh.* I was thinking to myself, wtf.

 

At the time, it seemed pretty normal, until she held the cat by the front legs and flipped it over like a fish being de-scaled. The cat just flopped there before the obaasan resumes the skshh skshh skshh. This happened over and over. Flop over flop. Skshh over skssh. The only reason this story came up was because the ikebana base reminded me of a brush, and I wondered what would've happened if the obaasan just happened to be an avid ikebana practitioner, and mixed up brushes…

 

Oddly enough, I didn't hear any dying wails, but there should've been some. At the time, I took it nonchalantly as it went on, but in retrospect, it's just about the funniest thing I can think of that has happened to me so far.

 

Well, there has been a lot of funny things that happened to me, but I guess this qualifies as one not directly related to me.

 

Yay, I finally got a phone today!!! It took us over 2 hours to somehow finish, despite having all of our paperwork essentially done yesterday. -.-

 

As the lady called my okaasan for permission (>.>), I noticed how her voice jumped into the hyper pitch range. I've always known that in Japan, especially in the service industry, the faster and higher you talk, the more deference you are giving to the other person. I believe that the pitch range goes somewhere like this.

 

Deep à Husky à Casual à Puberty à Schoolgirl à Pikachu à Hyper Pitch à Dog whistle

 

I'm sure that there's some intermediate levels in between those, as well as varying degrees, but that's essentially what I've broke it down into. This is why I always fail half of Japanese listening tests. First they'd have the male guys talking, and it's all "oh, I got this."

 

Then the girl starts talking, and the recorder somehow manages to record her voice, play it back in slow capture, and still manage to explain how Hamtarou crossed the bridge to get some chestnuts for Ribon, kick Taishou in the nuts, and saved the world from Burandon chasing his tail.

 

I'm exaggerating. She'd probably just get to the part about Taishou and aizuchi (back-channeling conversation) the rest just to throw us off with a 'ne,' followed by a 'ne' from the guy, and 'sou desu ka' the rest of the time, and still somehow get her meaning across.

 

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I finally figured out how to use the infrared thingy to send my information to other people's phones with just the information I want, and how my name is spelled and all that jazz. It's a super cool function, and it beats the whole "I'll call you and just save my name" method.

 

It's getting late, and I have to study for a test tomorrow that would decide whether or not I am really worthy to be in the 400 level, which unfortunately requires that I know everything in 200-300. That's both books of Genki. Can I cram almost 2 years' worth of material into my head tonight?

 

Probably not. I'm just gonna play with my phone.

Everything’s in order here

I figure that I ought to update this more often.

 

Or as randomly as possible, which seems to be the case of what's actually happening here.

 

I already know that I have a strange effect on the world around me. It's pretty much a proven fact that it's never boring around me. And when it is, it's just the calm before the storm. Part of it has to do with me being a totally weird person, but weirdness attracts other weirdos and things kind of happen.

 

Take for instance, this girl I shall name Lies. Great girl, same program and all that. We started off as pretty normal, and now we behave worse than little children. I'm talking, "she poked me!" and "nuh-uh, he did it first!" to our other friends, especially to our poor friend Temple. I'll explain the names in a little bit. It really does not seem like things are that weird in type, but it's one of the "you have to be there" things. All Lies does is say her namesake as a rebuttal to everything I say, do, or even think. It's terrible, and today, she _blew hard into my ear enough to make me fall out of my seat in the subway_.

 

Of course, I kind of poked her in the side of the stomach earlier, and I had it coming. I just didn't know when, and she kept having an innocent look about her. Kind of sucks sitting next to her not knowing when she would strike back. In between getting videotaped by another friend, and stared at by obaachans, it was pretty damn embarrassing. Thank god I have a mostly complete lack of self-consciousness.

 

Temple is Lies and my 'mommy' of sorts. She actually lives in a small Buddhist temple, whose caretaker teaches piano during the day. The temple used to be pretty old and worn until she watched a "Pimp my Ride" version of old Japanese temples where this American architect or something comes and "pimps" the place out. In addition to renewing the temple, they added on a super modern house to the side with nearly invisible (among the wall) doors. It's pretty cool, but after nearly a lifetime of working in construction, I could see where they cut corners a bit to finish the house quickly, namely with the spackling technique and somewhat uneven leveling at some points in the house. All in all, it's an amazingly pretty house though. I just get insanely anal when it comes to observing sometimes.

 

Speaking of houses. Holy crap, I'm in a nice one. Japan is notorious for crowded homes and having a bit of dirt is a luxury here. Not to mention cars (the public transportation is the main mode for most of the country), garage, multiple floors, etc. I mean, it's not uber rich, but it's quite comfortable here, in my own room with my own bathroom down the hall. They have a dog too, a really cute two-year old mostly golden retriever mix. I don't know where the other half come from, but neither does my okaasan. My family has two cars, a sweet home theater system (that they actually don't use that often at all), a piano, an authentic tea ceremony tatami room, a rock garden, and a garage. The little things matter as well, like having a complicated security system or eating really great bread from a depaato (Japanese department store) for breakfast.

 

Oh my god, food. I love the food here. I have not tasted something that terribly turned me off besides things that I already know, like onions/scallions or pocari-sweat like substances. I go to sleep full every night. I wonder if I'd gain a ridiculous amount of weight because I'm not exercising as much as I would be back in the states >.> <.< . um…yeah. But hey, at least I walk a lot.

 

Yes. I walk now. To those who know me personally, that's a huuuuuge feat. I get so tired everyday just from walking. It's sick. I hate walking. My house is on the top of this huge hill that takes about 15 minutes to climb from the station. That's where my exercise comes in. No more biking for me. I'll just climb a mountain wanna-be every single night. -.-

 

The sad thing is that I know that I would not be as tired if I was on a bike and rode up the thing every day. But yeah, I walk now, more because I have no choice. I am trying to get into the cycling club to appease my bike addiction. Do any of you have any idea how hard it is for me to find cruiser style bikes attractive? I mean, seriously. There have been some sleek road bikes here, but the sad thing is that I have yet to see one being rode.

 

That's something I've noticed about Japanese people. A good number of them can barely ride a bike. I see people riding bikes at a pretty slow rate, and shake immensely. It hurts just to watch them. I'm not talking a little shaking and then fix themselves. I'm talking a constant steady shake. I might be a bit harsh on this observation, but consider it my bias on cruisers. I absolutely hate those things. They need a "Pimp my Bike" show. If they have "Pimp my Temple" in Japan, I'm pretty sure they'd have something like that for bikes.

 

Oh yeah, one last thing that happened today. I went to get a phone with some friends. Getting a phone in Japan is pretty hard. You need your passport, student ID (for the student discount), and an alien registration card/proof certificate so that they can make sure that you're not some scheming American who came to steal their technology and hack the unlock code back home in order to use their phones.

 

There are phones here with flippy screen television technology. Okay, so imagine a regular rectangular flip phone. Then turn the screen 45 degrees clockwise, and it'll turn into this. http://www.itechnews.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/softbank_sharp_911sh_2.jpg

 

And it picks up a decent reception to watch tv _for free_. Hot damn, no wonder Americans need to steal this technology. In my case, it was between this type of phone and a camera phone http://www.mobile-t-mobile.com/uimg/SoftBank-920SC.jpg that's pretty sexy. My friend Candy-pills and I were deciding on a phone, and we happened to choose this one. 5 megapixels in a camera phone. oO; that's better than my camera on a good day. I'm sure most people would lean towards the cool flippy Japanese sexy television phone that you can't get in the states. But hey, I'm choosing functionality over novelty values. I think that's a fair trade.

 

Here's the thing about Japanese cell phone plans. If everything goes right, I will be able to have unlimited texting/calls between other Softbank phones, free incoming calls/msgs, including international, low rates per 30 seconds to other phones, and other miscellaneous per-usage charges for one low basic price. If you buy the phone upfront, there is no cancellation fee _at all_, even if the plan says 2 years or so. That must cost a lot right? Well, obviously the phone itself and activation fee is pretty hefty, but wait till you hear the price per month.

 

Alright, brace yourself.

 

Braced?

 

I'll give you one last warning.

 

315.00 JPY = 2.90062 USD

 

No, that is not a typo. For less than 3 dollars a month, I can get all of that. All I gotta do is make sure that I'm only calling/communicating with other Softbank users, and be frugal about my usage to other people, and I'd literally be paying less than ten cents a day for a sweet phone with service any other Japanese would enjoy. The upfront cost for me would be ~$200 for the phone itself, which is marked down because of the plans that I sign up for as a promotional price and can later cancel (in fact, encouraged by the Softbank staff to do so) to keep the monthly price low. Keep in mind that this is with a student discount and economical usage.

 

Okay, so I had all of my paperwork ready, the lady finished scanning my certificate of alien registration files, etc., etc. I was just about to sign.

 

I repeat. I was just about to sign.

 

Then she notices, "Oh, you're nineteen."

 

Holy. Hell.

 

In case you didn't know. The official age to do anything in this whole country is twenty. Which sadly includes, yes, buying a cell phone.

 

What happens next was embarrassing. My friend Candy-pills is also 19. We went as a group. Lies already got her phone, and was supposed to cancel stuff today. Our other friend, Curly, wanted to buy a phone too. Candy-pills and my friend, Jump-stars, did a ton of research, and was ready to buy a phone there as well.

 

So here's how it all went down.

Lies forgot her passport.

Curly did not get her certificate of alien registration files yet.

Jump-stars forgot his certificate of alien registration files.

Both Candy-pills and I were too young.

 

It was a day of epic fail. Especially considering that we were there for at least an hour or more asking every question thought possible (well, Jump-stars did most of the work. Candy-pills and I just messed around the entire time). Candy-pills and I now have parent permission forms for our host parents to fill out and bring back to the store so that the saleslady could call and confirm with our parents (yes, they actually double check that) that we have permission to buy a cell phone on our own.

 

Here's to tomorrow. >.<